Preserve

The sudden quietus, is not something I expected. Since I didn’t expected it, I at least was or am stupefied. Before I write any further, I want to warn this post is not an allegory. So stop wasting your time right now. 

 I always knew I was a hack (no not as a writer, but maybe, I don’t know). I also knew that I was apathetic. But I was (or am) have always been misconstrued. I was not affected by it, part of the problem I thought was I had a small circle of people I interacted with (5), which got much smaller (3). These earthlings don’t involve any family members. But if you add them up; the number does add up to 6. But I talk only to my sibling and Mom. Dad is (always was) a different tale altogether. 

So anyway enough with the family drama, I am as some of you might now (5, I think, see here too I am restrained) not new to WordPress. I was here before, I was active for full two months. And then I got shut down. But in these two months, I had a ton of fights,  as it happens the curse of my construed carried here also. Also I had to give explanations, and when needed engage in a scrimmage or two. 

So imagine my surprise when I returned, and lo and behold, the curse returned. It was not something I didn’t anticipate, but now I had a big fight with my sibling (in real life), which ended with the words, “You won’t understand, maybe the problem is not in other peoples view, but yours.” (P. S. :-The fight was on a totally different related subject in which my voice ascended into high pitch filled with anger.) 

It made me think, and I realised, No, I am not. See I told you, no allegory. 

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20 thoughts on “Preserve

        1. I thought it was made amply clear by me that I am (always was) a negative entity. The last thing any sane human being want is an air of melancholy surrounding them.

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        2. Thats the problem. Whats wrong with you. Why do you keep insisting you are air of melancholy. You are not.
          When you were here last time i was with mom remember?? U made that phase so much easier for me. You were one of very few people i was communicating with because you are not a negative entity.
          You were a good friend. a caring one. I really missed you here and you know that.

          You aren’t reading my posts i guess. I will have to fly soon doctor’s stopped her treatment..

          Stop saying this ok!

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        3. Look, I don’t want to explain. OK. But I know myself, always have. The problem is (always was), that many think of me as a different person, and then reality hits them. I always become as you said in the comment ‘were’ rather than ‘is’.
          I read your post, even tried to comment on it. But asked for a second opinion from my sibling, indirectly of course.
          This is the reply I got, “You must be batshit crazy to give such an advice. Just response in a resigned manner, it will do less damage. “

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        4. Nah, forget it. It’s a done deal. I may not have any social experience, my sibling does. I will listen to the advice. And for the matter, just to be blunt we are not mentally strong.

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        5. If that’s the case then advice has no meaning. It was related on the assumption that you aren’t mentally strong. A claim, that is now being contested. So makes no difference.

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