The sudden quietus, is not something I expected. Since I didn’t expected it, I at least was or am stupefied. Before I write any further, I want to warn this post is not an allegory. So stop wasting your time right now. 

 I always knew I was a hack (no not as a writer, but maybe, I don’t know). I also knew that I was apathetic. But I was (or am) have always been misconstrued. I was not affected by it, part of the problem I thought was I had a small circle of people I interacted with (5), which got much smaller (3). These earthlings don’t involve any family members. But if you add them up; the number does add up to 6. But I talk only to my sibling and Mom. Dad is (always was) a different tale altogether. 

So anyway enough with the family drama, I am as some of you might now (5, I think, see here too I am restrained) not new to WordPress. I was here before, I was active for full two months. And then I got shut down. But in these two months, I had a ton of fights,  as it happens the curse of my construed carried here also. Also I had to give explanations, and when needed engage in a scrimmage or two. 

So imagine my surprise when I returned, and lo and behold, the curse returned. It was not something I didn’t anticipate, but now I had a big fight with my sibling (in real life), which ended with the words, “You won’t understand, maybe the problem is not in other peoples view, but yours.” (P. S. :-The fight was on a totally different related subject in which my voice ascended into high pitch filled with anger.) 

It made me think, and I realised, No, I am not. See I told you, no allegory. 


20 thoughts on “Preserve

        1. I thought it was made amply clear by me that I am (always was) a negative entity. The last thing any sane human being want is an air of melancholy surrounding them.


        2. Thats the problem. Whats wrong with you. Why do you keep insisting you are air of melancholy. You are not.
          When you were here last time i was with mom remember?? U made that phase so much easier for me. You were one of very few people i was communicating with because you are not a negative entity.
          You were a good friend. a caring one. I really missed you here and you know that.

          You aren’t reading my posts i guess. I will have to fly soon doctor’s stopped her treatment..

          Stop saying this ok!

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Look, I don’t want to explain. OK. But I know myself, always have. The problem is (always was), that many think of me as a different person, and then reality hits them. I always become as you said in the comment ‘were’ rather than ‘is’.
          I read your post, even tried to comment on it. But asked for a second opinion from my sibling, indirectly of course.
          This is the reply I got, “You must be batshit crazy to give such an advice. Just response in a resigned manner, it will do less damage. “


        4. Nah, forget it. It’s a done deal. I may not have any social experience, my sibling does. I will listen to the advice. And for the matter, just to be blunt we are not mentally strong.


        5. If that’s the case then advice has no meaning. It was related on the assumption that you aren’t mentally strong. A claim, that is now being contested. So makes no difference.


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