It’s a strange feeling that I’m feeling nowadays. Perhaps I’m changing, I know my habits are. One strange voice in my mind told me, “You’re not yourself anymore, you do know that, do you?”
It begs the question of my identity,whether it’s made up by me, or people who know me, or it’s just that everyone has an identity which is decided by bigger powers (State, country)?
While I am sad, and happy at the same time I just don’t know if I really have a purpose of living. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed, and no I’m mentally healthy, but still I find myself continuously thinking of the reason I want to do things that I do.
Which brings a childhood memory of mine back to life, torturing ants. You know you have done it, we all have. You know how good it felt. The thinking that you could disrupt, and end the life of the little creatures made you feel like God, didn’t it. But for me it was the scrambling, how those little creatures were suddenly caught unaware of the ‘gift of the unexpected’.
So I thought why not to gift the ‘gift’ again. And thus all I needed was a gun, and a crowded place. You see as they say, “There always is somebody out there to get you.” And ass I said and add go the above quote, “ It’s not God, but it certainly is death.”
Writing for Sensei’s prompt,after a long time. And the above work is a work of fiction.